30/31

I had no idea what to write about today. Total, complete writer’s block. So, like any person with total, complete writer’s block, I tried to think of issues that I’m currently invested in. But I’ve already written about the stupidity of makeup and the absurdity of being told to choose a career at 18 years old and the importance of saying sorry and how I feel about college relationships and the fact that I am an outgoing introvert. Thinking about what to write today, I realized that you guys really know a lot about me.

None of you, except for my mother of course, have ever physically met me. Yet, I can confidently say that if you were to read through my blog you would get a good idea of what I’m all about. At least, what I’m all about when I’m hanging out with a group of intellectual teachers.

But, anyhow, I think that I have come up with something you do not yet know about me. The way that I would act around one of you is probably very different than the way that I act around my friends at school. And the way that I act around my friends at school is different than the way I act around my friends from home. This was even more apparent in high school when I wasn’t as confident being my own person and looked to change myself based on what I thought the people I was with at the moment wanted to see. Now that I am in college and socializing with all sorts of great people that I respect/look up to, it’s a lot easier to always act like the person that I strive to be. However, sometimes I still find myself “chameleoning.”

Before, my chameleoning was an issue. It was because of low self-esteem and a need to please. However, now I think that it’s less of an issue and more just a way of life. When I’m with my extremely grungy art school friends, I will talk about the time that my family decided to raise chickens or the amazing avocado I had for breakfast. When I’m with my roommates, I will ask them about their days and their classes and we’ll chat about what’s for dinner. It’s not that I’m changing for people anymore, it’s instead that different parts of me- and all parts that I am growing to know and to love- come out based on the company I am with. I no longer think that it’s a problem, but instead my (slight) chameleoning based on friend groups is a way for me to be in contact with all parts of the real me.

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “30/31

  1. I love those last two sentences, Larkin – and I think that you arrived at your truth there. The reality is, that to some extent this is what we all do…no matter our age or our experience.

  2. Beginning with no clue what to write and ending with a discovery about yourself. That’s what writing does. Keep developing that person you are discovering. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s