19/31

I might delete this post at some point. Not because I’m worried about future employers or anything (don’t worry, mom) but just because I wouldn’t want it to get in the hands of the wrong person. It’s a little more personal than usual. Also it’s slightly rambly. Sorry. Please bear with me!

My two roommates have extremely steady, serious boyfriends. I love both of their boyfriends dearly and am happy that they are happy but, as you might imagine, sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes I find myself alone in a single while they’re both spending the night at their boyfriends and I feel pretty lonely. I realize that it’s silly and that Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love, is very wise in her advice to young girls to pay more attention to themselves and less to boys, but it isn’t really something that I can help.

I am finally at a point in my life where I am (almost) completely comfortable with who I am and what I believe in. I do not think that a boy is at all what I want or need. I am happy with where I am right now and, as I have said many times, I value and need my alone time. However, it’s hard to watch your two best friends have and love something that you don’t have. Doable, but hard.

My apologies for this post being slightly rant-ish! I didn’t start out with it meaning for it to be, but I realize that it came out that way. Basically, I just think that being a girl who’s a college sophomore is hard when it comes to various pressures and expectations. College academic culture is hard enough as it is. School is stressful. But then you add to that the pressures of social life and what is expected of a college sophomore girl and life gets pretty hairy.

I suppose the point of this post is that it is often times hard to be true to yourself and know what parts of you are real and honest when there are so many pre-existing expectations that you often find yourself struggling to meet.

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5 thoughts on “19/31

  1. I tell my kids that having a boyfriend is not all that important at this point in your life. I found my husband spring of my 5th year of college. My cousin who has always had a boyfriend is still single at 51 years of age. Relax, enjoy life and college, the boyfriend will come when it is right.

  2. You are a strong young woman. Don’t ever forget that. You just never know where or when love might happen. Enjoy being who you are because that is what someone will love.

  3. I remember having the exact same thoughts and feelings you are having in college. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I was ever as secure in myself as you sound. Be patient and wait for love, but don’t stop living while you wait. God has created a man just for you. He will bring him at the right time. Until then, keep giving love.

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